Who’s Got Your Back? A phycho-social theory

o I was having dinner Friday night with my Dad and his partner Liz and talking about various things when the focus of the conversation fell into Social Media or specifically FACEBOOK as it so often does at dinner tables all across America these days. The interesting thing is it brought up the issues of Privacy, or how Liz feels about Privacy, how I do and how Dad does. And how do each view Social networks and community? You see, Dad had just put up a Facebook page a few months ago and then he added LinkedIn since he had received a number of requests to join from old friends. So the story begins;

The real question in Liz’s mind boiled down to ” Who’s really got your back” or put another way, given her experience with close friends sharing “in person at dinner parties or on the phone”, she perceives a deep bond and trust with her friends. Can this really happen in a Social environment like Faceook? It is a Psychosocial question – How do people bond or relate when exchanging seemingly meaningless or trivial chatter most of the time in such an open public forum? And what about Privacy? It just can’t be good and a closed community of friends is better, even when you may not hear from them for a long time….says Liz

Well- My Turn. Now, to say I live in the public eye may be an understatement at times ( or not ), certainly I am no big celebrity although I have been called one many times, among other colorful names….hahaha…but I DO live very “Socially Public” life in 2012 with over a dozen public platforms from Facebook ( 2 actually there), Twitter, (2 there as well) my website, different blogs, LinkedIn etc. and I use them daily, sometimes multiple times. Now to be fair, it is also my business to a large degree and I am a complete Tech geek & early adopter ( I was on almost all of these in Beta or first launch ) but honestly, I enjoy them and unlike LIz and others, I do think you can have a community within them if used properly.

My points on this. First, the phone-book has been around for every. Your name & Address are in it and if someone wants to contact you, its easier that way than through the Internet. So isn’t privacy is a bit of an illusion. Furthermore, I asked about being at a party and telling someone what was going on with you (Liz) and catching up. My point was, you share what is happening in your life at that party with that friend or acquaintance, and with many many people that night, and they in turn catch others up on your life (accurate or not) that they talk to, and so on and so on. WELL – seems pretty public to me because I don’t think you know EVERYONE at that party and I promise you the stories you shared will change as they go around the room and the phone or water cooler the next day…. SO wouldn’t you rather have some control over that? Well, write an update on Facebook and Voila, YOUR WORDS are there to stay and not be confused in the way YOU choose.

Now I can go on about that and more, but this is getting long. My main point to her was this: In reality, through social networks I not only know what is going on with her ( or that person updating ) but I know what is going on with their kids whom I love, their parents, cousins etc etc. What is happening at their job, their school or what new activities they are doing and perhaps when and where they are going on their next vacation (so we can met up?). And when I next see them, I will have ALL of this knowledge in my head – Now we can have a really great DEEP talk, because we don’t have to cover all the “little” stuff or if something bad happened ( a death or injury to them or a loved one ) we are both better prepared to handle it. NOW THAT is what I call a REAL BOND and a DEEP relationship platform, much more than a phone call twice a year (maybe) and a way to have true trust.

I just had this experince this week when I saw a friend “in person” I had not seen in 2 + years. But I knew EVERYTHING he had gone through, good and bad. So for the next few days we had a BLAST and some of the best talks EVER…and I 1000% give the credit to Facebook, LinkedIn and other updates he shared with me and others. Actually, I saw a number of friends this week and had very similar experiences ( at CES in Vegas, Geek central lol!! ).

So I ‘think’ we agreed there is a real value in a Social network. Some are for personal use, some for business – and all need to be used cautiously and appropriately (as does everything in life). But how cool is it to be able to stay in touch with 100’s of people you have met in life, each whom you love or care about in some special way and to see them grow as people – parents – sons and daughter! It takes a village right? And we are ALL Family in the beginning and in the end. So I encourage you to give it a try, share your life,your success and pain, you may be surprised how it benefits you or whom you may help and never know it.

And yes, I think that you will find those friends have your back! You can certainly on me!

19 thoughts on “Who’s Got Your Back? A phycho-social theory”

  1. Granger, that’s a very nice consideration process, every one person gives a a small amount optional extra

  2. I agree with the first comment, each generations are not the same and only few older people embraces the new trends of the current generation. I am a facebook user for more than 6 years already and I can relate to you that privacy is how you handle it.

  3. Social media nowadays becomes the trending place to visit for most of the people and we can’t blame them, there are many features on any sites and who would not love playing games with your friends while chatting and enjoying it by just in the house. You talk about privacy, well that’s really right , it’s really up to us how we handle it but I still respect the opinion of other people on privacy of social that it isn’t safe.

  4. Facebook, Twitter, Linked-In, Google+ etc. are all social media sites that you can easily talk and communicate with other people like your friends or your relatives and I think the privacy really must always be monitored if you are using the social media sites since internet is a very dangerous place.

  5. I like the title of the blog “WHO’S GOT YOUR BACK? A PHYCHO-SOCIAL THEORY”, it seems like very deep to me. I agree with you to some of your ideas and you are really friendly to live such social public life.

  6. I think she has a point and I think I would believe in what they have told us that what you uploaded on the internet can’t be taken back. I think internet world is a harmful world because it is so broad and the people can act what they want to act even if it is not good since they can’t be seen and their identity can be hidden. Anyway, in the end the person who is surfing the net (I am preferring to us) is the responsible for what he will do though the internet is very dangerous.

  7. I don’t know what to say exactly but I think she has a point and you have a point too. I’m kinda confused what to choose between two because it’s true that social media websites or the internet is a dangerous place and your privacy can be taken by you that you can’t notice but it is also true that you can be safe if you will always stay alert and choose a right setting for whatever you do.

  8. So I have here the meaning of what social media means and this is for you guys who are not familiar with it though this is popular already in our modern world “Social media employ web- and mobile-based technologies to support interactive dialogue and “introduce substantial and pervasive changes to communication between organizations, communities, and individuals.”, I pasted it here because I’m thinking if this will be helpful and since this article is all about this.

  9. First of all thanks for letting me comment. I think she has a point by saying that one since you know facebook and social media websites are dangerous and harmful especially to people that are not using it frequently and don’t know much about it. I think social media websites are good to use but it’s dangerous but I also acknowlege your point becaue it is also true.

  10. I like your point here “My points on this. First, the phone-book has been around for every. Your name & Address are in it and if someone wants to contact you, its easier that way than through the Internet.”, I like the point because it’s really true though it can also be dangerous but also at the same time you are correct that privacy will be an illusion also.

  11. This is a sort of true “My points on this. First, the phone-book has been around for every”, I am using a social media website and this can be use an advantage too and so your friends will be able to contact easily because they don’t have to find you in person or ask your common friends for your number but it can be cause a not good situation also since in social media websites there are many bag guys.

  12. This can be treated as positive I guess “Your name & Address are in it and if someone wants to contact you, its easier that way than through the Internet.”, I am using facebook and other social media websites for a long time and that can be treated as an advantage compared to disadvantage. But the problem is that strangers can also get that but I think there is a privacy of that also, so I think it’s on the privacy that you have to be careful of.

  13. Simple, if you want privacy, then do not join any social media site. There’s definitely a generation difference, many people today share their entire lives (good and bad) online, it’s amazing how open people have become.

  14. Yes and I am a witness to this “Well- My Turn. Now, to say I live in the public eye may be an understatement at times”, I agree to you that it depends on how you handle the security features of social media website that you are using. But of course some people won’t understand us and some people have different views to it.

  15. Sometimes each of us have own perspective in many things. I understand both of you since I know you have different perspective in social media websites. In my place many are using social media website and the social media website that I’m talking about facebook and maybe I say privacy is really important and should be take cared very well.

  16. Yes this is true “I enjoy them and unlike LIz and others, I do think you can have a community within them if used properly.”, I certainly agree with that statement of yours but it’s just that some privacies can be handled fully or 100% since even if you cover your profile or account to people that you don’t know there will still be leakage if your friends shared an info or just photos about you.

  17. Yes! And I am literally doing this one “o I encourage you to give it a try, share your life,your success and pain, you may be surprised how it benefits you or whom you may help and never know it.”, I am doing this one on my social media websites that I am registered with. I think many right now in our modern world .are also doing this one because this is some kind of trend in our modern days.

  18. I can see you literally have a point here “Your name & Address are in it and if someone wants to contact you, its easier that way than through the Internet”, I also agree with you with this since we can set out privacy properly in facebook since they have good settings for privacy and it is really good in my opinion however some of social media websites don’t have this kind of privacy settings and I think that is where the point of the other side comes in.

  19. That is indeed a little bit complicated and too hard to discuss especially that you are both professional both have strong thought on each favored side. I agree to some parts of both of the sides and I know though you have different thoughts I know that you are both right. I think I will conclude that it is still depend on the user if she or he will try the risk and if he or she understands the risk or he or she can handle the privacy of the social media website that he or she is registering.

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